This was my draft:
This was the feedback that I got from my friend Lyan:
And this was my final:
This was the feedback I got in the end. ( Mr Mitchell did not mark it yet )
Wednesday, February 28, 2018
Creamy Vanilla Ice cream - Show Not Tell
Last week I wrote a story about vanilla ice cream. We got given a container to share in our groups, this was my progress.
This was my draft:
This was the feedback that I got from my friend Lyan:
And this was my final:
This was the feedback I got in the end. ( Mr Mitchell did not mark it yet )
This was my draft:
This was the feedback that I got from my friend Lyan:
And this was my final:
This was the feedback I got in the end. ( Mr Mitchell did not mark it yet )
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